13 Things You Should Stop Doing to Yourself
Welcome to Daily Reality NG, where we break down real-life issues with honesty and clarity.
If you're reading this, there's a good chance you've been harder on yourself than life has ever been on you. Today, we're confronting those silent battles many Nigerians fight alone.
I'm Samson Ese, founder of Daily Reality NG. I've been blogging and building online businesses in Nigeria since 2016, helped over 4,000 readers start making money online, and my sites currently serve 800,000+ monthly visitors across Africa. What I'm about to share comes from lived experience, not theory.
I sat in that same molue bus every morning for three years. Same route. Same faces. Same conductor shouting "Oshodi! Oshodi!" But one face stood out. A young woman, maybe 28, always sitting by the window with her earphones on, staring at nothing in particular.
I noticed because her expression never changed. Not when someone stepped on her foot. Not when the conductor made a joke. Not even when a baby was crying right next to her. She just... existed.
One morning, the bus broke down. We all got down, frustrated, complaining about Lagos and LASTMA and everything in between. That's when I heard her voice for the first time. She was on the phone, and her words hit me: "No, I'm fine. Yes, everything is okay. I'm almost at work." Her voice was steady, practiced, perfect. But her hands were shaking.
That moment taught me something: we're all carrying weight we pretend doesn't exist. We're all doing things to ourselves that nobody else can see. And the worst part? We've convinced ourselves it's normal.
Let me be honest with you. This article isn't about motivation. It's not about "10 steps to success" or "become your best self in 30 days." This is about survival. About recognizing the quiet ways we destroy ourselves every single day and thinking it's just life.
If we talk am well, most of us in Nigeria are fighting two battles: the one the world can see, and the one we inflict on ourselves when nobody's watching. The second one is always more brutal.
💡 Stop Comparing Your Chapter 1 to Someone's Chapter 20
Here's what nobody tells you about social media in Nigeria: everybody is lying. Not entirely, but enough to make you feel like you're the only one struggling.
You see your age mate posting pictures from Dubai, another one just bought a Benz, your classmate is now a "CEO" with an office in Lekki. Meanwhile, you're still living with your parents in Ikeja, taking danfo to work, wondering where you went wrong.
Real Talk: That person posting their Range Rover? They're not posting the five failed businesses before it. The Instagram influencer showing designer bags? They're not showing you the debt or the sponsor paying the bills. The "overnight success" story? It took them seven years of grinding in silence.
I used to do this. Every single day. I'd scroll through Instagram comparing my life to people who started before me, had more capital than me, or were just better at packaging themselves. It ate me alive.
The truth is, comparison is the fastest way to kill your peace. You're looking at someone's highlight reel and comparing it to your behind-the-scenes footage. That's not fair to you.
Want to know the secret? Focus on your own race. The person you were yesterday is your only competition. If you made ₦50,000 last month and you made ₦60,000 this month, that's progress. Celebrate it. Don't diminish it because someone else made ₦500,000.
💡 Stop Apologizing for Taking Up Space
Many Nigerians, especially young people, have been conditioned to shrink themselves. To be quiet. To not demand too much. To be grateful for crumbs.
You apologize when someone bumps into you. You say sorry for asking questions in a meeting. You feel guilty for setting boundaries at work. You downplay your achievements so people won't think you're proud.
Let me tell you something that changed my life: your existence is not an inconvenience. You don't need to apologize for being human.
Real Example: I once worked at a company where I'd wait for everyone to finish eating lunch before I'd go heat my food. Why? Because I didn't want to "inconvenience" anyone by using the microwave first. One day, a colleague asked me why I always ate last. I had no good answer. That's when I realized I was apologizing for existing.
Stop saying sorry for things that aren't your fault. Stop making yourself smaller so others feel bigger. Stop hiding your light because someone might feel uncomfortable.
You deserve to take up space. You deserve to speak up. You deserve to be seen and heard. And if anyone has a problem with that, that's their issue, not yours.
💡 Stop Waiting for Permission to Start Living
How many times have you said "when I have enough money," "when I get married," "when I finish this project," "when things settle down"?
We're always waiting for the perfect moment to start living. The perfect moment to be happy. The perfect moment to pursue our dreams. But here's the harsh truth: that perfect moment doesn't exist.
I wasted three years waiting for "the right time" to start my blog. Three whole years. You know what happened during those three years? People who started after I had the idea overtook me. People with less experience built audiences I could only dream of. Why? Because they started while I was still "planning."
Here's what I learned: Life doesn't wait for you to be ready. Opportunities don't knock twice. And while you're waiting for everything to align perfectly, someone else is out there doing it imperfectly and winning.
You want to start a business? Start it now with the ₦20,000 you have. You want to learn a skill? YouTube is free. You want to travel? Book that trip to Calabar or Obudu, you don't need to start with London.
Stop postponing your life until everything is perfect. Start messy. Start scared. Start small. Just start.
Read our guide on how to stop waiting and start building your future today for practical steps you can take right now.
💡 Stop Treating Your Body Like It's the Enemy
You skip breakfast because you're "too busy." You eat junk all day because it's convenient. You sleep at 2 AM scrolling through your phone. You ignore that persistent headache. You push through pain because "it's not that serious."
Then one day, your body fights back. And when it does, it doesn't just tap you on the shoulder. It knocks you flat on your back.
Many Nigerians treat their bodies like machines that should just keep working no matter what. We glorify "hustle culture" to the point where sleeping is seen as weakness and self-care is seen as luxury.
The truth nobody wants to hear: Your body is not your enemy. It's been fighting for you every single day. Your heart beats without you asking it to. Your lungs breathe for you while you sleep. Your immune system battles infections you don't even know about. Your body deserves better than neglect.
Start treating your body like a partner, not a problem. Eat actual food, not just anything that fills your stomach. Sleep when you're tired, not when you've scrolled through every social media app. Move your body because it feels good, not because you hate how it looks.
And please, if something hurts, see a doctor. Don't wait until it becomes an emergency. Healthcare in Nigeria is already expensive; don't make it worse by turning a small issue into a crisis.
Check out our article on building a healthy sleep routine as a Nigerian to start making better choices for your body.
💡 Stop Ignoring Your Mental Health
In Nigeria, we don't talk about mental health. We say "pray about it" or "be strong" or "other people have it worse." We treat depression like weakness and anxiety like overthinking.
I know people who haven't smiled genuinely in months but will tell you they're fine. People having panic attacks in bathroom stalls during work. People crying themselves to sleep every night but showing up to church on Sunday like everything is perfect.
Mental health is not a Western concept. Depression is not a white people problem. Anxiety doesn't care about your tribe or religion. And pretending you're okay when you're falling apart is not strength—it's survival mode, and you can't live your whole life in survival mode.
Listen carefully: If you're struggling mentally, you're not weak. You're human. If you need therapy, get it. If you need medication, take it. If you need a break, take it. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
And if you can't afford therapy (because let's be real, it's expensive in Nigeria), there are still things you can do. Talk to someone you trust. Journal your thoughts. Join support groups online. Practice basic self-care. Remove yourself from toxic environments.
The stigma around mental health in Nigeria has cost us too many brilliant minds. Don't let it cost yours. Read more about why Nigerians struggle to discuss mental health and how to break that cycle.
💡 Stop Staying in Situations That Drain You
That job that makes you cry before you go to work. That relationship that takes more than it gives. That friendship that only remembers you when they need something. That family member who constantly belittles your dreams.
We stay in these situations for so many reasons: we need the money, we don't want to be alone, we're afraid of change, we feel obligated, we think it will get better.
But here's what I've learned the hard way: staying in a situation that drains you is like drinking poison slowly. You think you're managing it, but it's killing you bit by bit.
Real Example: I stayed at a job for eight months after I knew I should leave. Eight months of waking up with dread, eight months of my mental health deteriorating, eight months of telling myself "it's not that bad." When I finally left, I realized I'd wasted eight months of my life being miserable for a salary that wasn't even worth my peace.
Yes, money is important. Yes, connection matters. But not at the cost of your sanity. Not at the expense of your peace. Not when it's destroying you from the inside out.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is walk away. From the job. From the relationship. From the friendship. From the toxicity. Even when you don't have a perfect backup plan.
Learn how to set boundaries without feeling guilty in your relationships and workplace.
💡 Stop Romanticizing Suffering
We love suffering in Nigeria. We wear it like a badge of honor. "I slept for three hours." "I haven't eaten all day." "I'm working three jobs." We say these things with pride, like suffering makes us more valuable.
Social media has made it worse. Everyone's posting about their "grind," their "hustle," their sleepless nights. We've created a culture where rest is lazy and balance is for people who aren't serious.
Let me be honest with you: suffering doesn't make you special. Burning yourself out doesn't make you successful. Working yourself to death doesn't make you a hero.
The truth is: The goal isn't to suffer beautifully. The goal is to build a life where you don't have to suffer constantly. Where you can work hard without destroying yourself. Where success doesn't require sacrificing your health, relationships, and sanity.
Stop glorifying the struggle. Yes, building something meaningful requires effort. But it shouldn't require you to hate your life in the process.
You can be successful and well-rested. You can be ambitious and balanced. You can be driven and still take care of yourself. These things are not mutually exclusive.
💡 Stop Living for Other People's Approval
You chose that career because your parents wanted you to. You're in that relationship because it looks good to your friends. You bought that car you can't afford because your neighbor got one. You post those pictures because you need the validation.
How much of your life are you actually living for yourself?
In Nigeria, we're raised to care deeply about what people think. "What will people say?" is practically our national motto. We make decisions based on avoiding shame more than pursuing happiness.
Here's what changed my perspective: The people whose approval you're chasing are too busy chasing their own approval to even notice you. That neighbor you're trying to impress? They're trying to impress someone else. Those friends you're performing for? They're doing the same thing.
It's a never-ending cycle of performance, and nobody wins. Because even when you get the approval, it's never enough. You need more likes, more validation, more proof that you're worthy.
The moment I stopped living for other people's approval was the moment I started actually living. I made decisions based on what I wanted, not what looked good. I pursued things that fulfilled me, not things that impressed others.
Yes, it was uncomfortable at first. Yes, people had opinions. But you know what? I was finally free.
💡 Stop Overthinking Every Single Decision
You spend three hours deciding what to eat for dinner. You write and rewrite that text message fifteen times. You analyze every conversation looking for hidden meanings. You create scenarios in your head that will never happen.
Overthinking is exhausting. It's like running a marathon in your mind without ever moving forward. You're burning energy without making progress.
I used to overthink everything. Should I send that email now or later? Should I post this or will people think I'm showing off? Should I take that opportunity or is it too risky? I was paralyzed by analysis.
Here's what I learned: Most decisions aren't as important as we make them. Most mistakes are fixable. Most of what we worry about never happens. And the time we waste overthinking could be spent actually doing something.
Not every decision needs to be perfect. Not every choice needs to be analyzed from every possible angle. Sometimes you just need to make a decision and adjust as you go.
Give yourself permission to make imperfect decisions. To be wrong sometimes. To change your mind. To not have everything figured out before you start.
Learn practical ways to manage overthinking and stress as a Nigerian dealing with daily pressures.
💡 Stop Holding Onto Anger That's Eating You Alive
That person who betrayed you five years ago. That family member who said that hurtful thing. That friend who abandoned you when you needed them. That ex who broke your heart.
You're still angry. You replay the scenarios in your head. You imagine confrontations that will never happen. You hold onto that pain like it's protecting you from getting hurt again.
But here's what's really happening: that person has moved on with their life. They're sleeping peacefully at night. They're not thinking about you. Meanwhile, you're the one being eaten alive by anger that serves no purpose.
The truth is brutal: Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You're the one suffering. You're the one missing out on peace. You're the one trapped in the past while life is happening right now.
Forgiveness isn't about them. It's about you. It's not saying what they did was okay. It's saying you're not going to let it destroy you anymore.
Let it go. Not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Not because the past doesn't matter, but because your future matters more.
Discover how to build a peaceful life by releasing anger and resentment that's been weighing you down.
💡 Stop Procrastinating on Your Dreams
You've been talking about starting that business for two years. You've been saying you'll learn that skill "soon." You've had that book idea forever but haven't written a single word. You want to travel but keep putting it off until "next year."
Meanwhile, time is passing. You're getting older. Your dreams are getting dustier. And one day, you'll wake up and realize you spent your whole life planning instead of doing.
Procrastination isn't about laziness. It's about fear. Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Fear of not being good enough. So we tell ourselves we're not ready yet. We need more time, more money, more knowledge, more confidence.
Let me tell you something nobody wants to hear: You will never feel completely ready. There will never be a perfect time. You will never have all the answers before you start. And that's okay. Start anyway.
I procrastinated on Daily Reality NG for years. I had every excuse: I need to save more money first, I need to learn more about SEO, I need to have at least 50 articles written before I launch. You know what finally made me start? I realized I was getting older and nothing was changing.
Stop waiting for someday. Someday is not a day of the week. Start today, even if it's messy. Even if it's small. Even if you're scared. Because the only thing worse than starting and failing is never starting at all.
Read about my journey building Daily Reality NG from scratch and how I finally stopped procrastinating on my dreams.
💡 Stop Accepting Less Than You Deserve
You accept the disrespect because you need the job. You stay in the relationship because you're afraid of being alone. You tolerate the poor treatment because "at least they're paying you something." You settle for crumbs because you don't believe you deserve the full meal.
Many Nigerians have been conditioned to accept less. To be grateful for anything. To not ask for too much. To think that having standards makes you proud or difficult.
But here's what I need you to understand: accepting less than you deserve doesn't make you humble. It makes you a volunteer for your own mistreatment.
Real Talk: That company paying you ₦50,000 when your skill is worth ₦200,000? They know. That partner who treats you like an option? They know. Those friends who only reach out when they need something? They know. They all know they're giving you less. And they're doing it because you're accepting it.
You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate. When you accept disrespect, you're telling them it's okay. When you settle for less, you're saying you're worth less.
I stayed at a company for a year being underpaid and overworked. Why? Because I was afraid I wouldn't find anything better. Because I thought maybe I didn't deserve better. When I finally left and found a role that valued me properly, I realized I'd wasted a year teaching them I was okay with being undervalued.
Know your worth. Set your standards. And don't lower them because someone can't meet them. The right people, the right opportunities, and the right situations will rise to meet you where you are.
Learn more about recognizing and leaving toxic situations that don't serve your growth.
💡 Stop Believing Your Best Days Are Behind You
You're 25 and think you should have achieved more by now. You're 30 and believe you've missed your chance. You're 35 and convinced your best years are over. You're 40 and think it's too late to start something new.
We live in a society obsessed with youth and early success. We celebrate the 20-year-old millionaire and forget about the 50-year-old who just found their purpose. We worship the "young and successful" and overlook everyone else.
But life doesn't have an expiration date on success. Your timeline is not everyone else's timeline. And comparing your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 20 will only make you bitter.
Here's what nobody tells you: Vera Wang didn't design her first dress until she was 40. Colonel Sanders started KFC at 62. Morgan Freeman got his big break at 52. Samuel L. Jackson didn't become famous until his 40s. Your best days aren't behind you. They're just getting started.
I started Daily Reality NG at 28. Some people thought I was late. Some told me the blogging space was saturated. Some said I should have started years ago. But you know what? I'm just getting started, and every year gets better.
Stop mourning the time you think you've lost. Stop believing your best years are behind you. Stop thinking it's too late to reinvent yourself. You're not old. You're not behind. You're exactly where you need to be.
Your story isn't over. Your best chapter might be the one you haven't written yet. So stop living in the past and start creating your future.
Read about how rejection became the catalyst for my greatest success later in life.
✅ Key Takeaways
- Stop comparing yourself to others – Your journey is unique and valid. Focus on your own progress, not someone else's highlight reel.
- Stop apologizing for existing – You deserve to take up space, speak up, and be heard without constantly saying sorry.
- Stop waiting for the perfect moment – The perfect time doesn't exist. Start now with what you have where you are.
- Stop neglecting your body and mind – Your physical and mental health are not luxuries. They're necessities for a good life.
- Stop staying in draining situations – Whether it's a job, relationship, or environment, if it's killing your spirit, it's time to leave.
- Stop glorifying suffering – Hard work doesn't require constant misery. You can build success without destroying yourself.
- Stop living for approval – Make decisions based on what you want, not what will impress others or avoid judgment.
- Stop overthinking everything – Not every decision needs perfect analysis. Sometimes you just need to choose and adjust as you go.
- Stop holding onto anger – Forgiveness is for your peace, not their redemption. Let go so you can move forward.
- Stop procrastinating on dreams – You'll never feel completely ready. Start messy, start scared, just start.
- Stop accepting less than you deserve – Know your worth and set standards. The right opportunities will meet you there.
- Stop believing it's too late – Your best days aren't behind you. Every day is a chance to begin again.
- Stop being your own worst enemy – Treat yourself with the same compassion you'd give someone you love.
🙋♂️ Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How do I stop comparing myself to others on social media?
Start by limiting your social media usage and unfollowing accounts that make you feel inadequate. Remember that social media shows highlight reels, not real life. Focus on your own progress by tracking your personal growth weekly. Celebrate your small wins and remind yourself that everyone's journey is different. Consider taking regular social media breaks to reconnect with your own reality.
Is it really possible to stop overthinking?
While you may not eliminate overthinking completely, you can significantly reduce it. Practice the 5-minute rule: give yourself 5 minutes to think about a decision, then make it. Use the 80-20 rule: if you have 80 percent of the information, decide. Journal your thoughts to get them out of your head. Set specific times for problem-solving instead of letting it consume your whole day. With practice, it gets easier.
How do I know when it's time to leave a job or relationship?
Trust your gut. If you dread it more days than you enjoy it, that's a sign. If it's affecting your mental or physical health, that's a sign. If you've communicated your needs and nothing changes, that's a sign. If you're staying only out of fear or obligation, not desire, that's a sign. Ask yourself: in five years, will I regret staying or leaving more? Your answer will guide you.
What if I don't have money for therapy in Nigeria?
There are free and low-cost alternatives. Join online support groups on Facebook or WhatsApp. Use free mental health apps like Wysa or 7 Cups. Practice journaling to process your emotions. Talk to trusted friends or mentors. Some organizations offer free counseling services. Read self-help books from your local library. While professional therapy is ideal, don't let cost prevent you from working on your mental health.
Am I too old to start over at 30, 35, or 40?
Absolutely not. Colonel Sanders started KFC at 62. Vera Wang entered fashion design at 40. Many successful Nigerians found their path later in life. Age gives you experience, wisdom, and perspective that younger people don't have. The question isn't whether you're too old, it's whether you're willing to start. Ten years from now, you'll either be ten years older with a new life or ten years older wishing you had started today.
How do I stop seeking approval from family and friends?
Start by clarifying your own values and goals independent of what others want. Make small decisions without consulting everyone first. Notice when you're about to do something for approval and ask yourself if you truly want it. Build confidence by achieving small goals. Remember that people who truly love you want your happiness, not your performance. It takes time, but gradually you'll need external validation less and trust yourself more.
✓
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This article covered a lot of ground, and I'm sure some parts resonated with you more than others. Let's keep the conversation going:
- Which of these 13 things hit closest to home for you, and why?
- What's one thing you're going to stop doing to yourself starting today?
- Have you successfully broken any of these patterns? What helped you the most?
- Is there a self-destructive habit you struggle with that wasn't covered here?
- What advice would you give to someone who's just realizing they've been their own worst enemy?
Share your thoughts in the comments below—we love hearing from our readers! Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to read today.
Samson Ese has been helping Nigerians build wealth online since 2016. His strategies have generated over ₦500 million for students combined.
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