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10 Types of Friends You Must Delete From Your Life Before 2026 If You Want to Blow
📅 November 28, 2025
✍️ Samson Ese
⏱️ 12 min read
Personal Growth
Welcome to Daily Reality NG, where we break down real-life issues with honesty and clarity.
If you're reading this, you're probably feeling it already—that weight in your chest when certain people call. That hesitation before you share good news. That drain after spending time with some "friends." Let me be honest with you: 2026 is too close for you to still be carrying dead weight in your circle.
I'm Samson Ese, founder of Daily Reality NG. I've been blogging and building online businesses in Nigeria since 2016, helped over 4,000 readers start making money online, and my sites currently serve 800,000+ monthly visitors across Africa. I've learned the hard way that your circle determines your altitude—and I'm here to share what nobody tells you about friendship and success.
The Friend Who Cost Tunde His Future
Let me tell you about my guy Tunde.
Back in 2019, Tunde was one of the smartest people I knew. He had just gotten a good job at a tech company in Lekki, and things were finally looking up for him. But Tunde had this group of five friends from university days—guys who never seemed to move forward with their lives.
Every Friday evening, without fail, these friends would call Tunde. "Guy, come make we go club." "Abeg drop some money, we dey hungry." "You don blow finish, you don forget us abi?" The pressure was real. The emotional blackmail was constant.
I watched Tunde slowly change. He started missing deadlines at work because he was out partying with these friends till 3 AM on work nights. His salary—which should have been building his future—was being shared among five grown men who had no plans for their own lives. When he tried to say no, they called him proud. When he suggested they should all hustle together, they laughed and said he was now forming "big boy."
Fast forward to 2024. Tunde lost that job. Those five friends? They're still calling him, still asking for money he doesn't have, still dragging him to places he can't afford. The truth is, many Nigerians know this struggle. We grow up believing that loyalty means carrying everybody along, even when they're pulling you down.
Here's what nobody tells you: Not everyone who started the journey with you is meant to finish it with you. Some people are in your life for a season, and when that season ends, holding on to them becomes a burden you can't afford.
If we talk am well, the people around you have more influence on your success than your education, your talent, or even your hard work. I used to think this was just motivational talk until I started tracking my own life.
Want to know the truth? Show me your five closest friends, and I'll predict your financial situation, your mindset, and your future with scary accuracy. This isn't about being proud or forming elitist. This is about survival in a country where your network literally becomes your net worth.
The truth is, as we head into 2026, you need to audit your circle with the same seriousness you'd audit your finances. Some friends are investments that yield returns. Others are liabilities draining your account dry.
🧛 1. The Energy Vampire
You know this person. Every time you see their call, you take a deep breath before picking up. Every conversation leaves you exhausted. They never have good news, never see the bright side, and somehow manage to make every discussion about their problems.
Real Talk: The Lagos Story
My friend Chioma had this friend from secondary school who would call her every single day—not to check on her, but to complain. Traffic was too much. NEPA took light again. Her boss was wicked. The economy was bad. For two years, Chioma was this woman's free therapist.
One day, Chioma got a promotion at work. Excited, she called this friend to share the good news. The response? "Na you go collect promotion when the rest of us dey suffer? The thing no even sweet you?" That was the day Chioma realized she'd been feeding a vampire.
Energy vampires don't just drain your time—they drain your optimism, your drive, and your mental health. In a country like Nigeria where staying positive already requires extra effort, you can't afford to have people who actively pull you into their pit of negativity.
How to Spot Them:
- They never celebrate your wins, only emphasize the risks
- Conversations are always one-sided (them talking, you listening)
- You feel drained after every interaction
- They dismiss your problems as "not serious" but theirs are always critical
- They compete with you over who has it worse
😫 2. The Constant Complainer (Without Action)
Let me be honest—we all complain sometimes. Life in Nigeria can be frustrating. But there's a difference between occasional venting and chronic complaining without any attempt at change.
The constant complainer has been stuck in the same situation for years, not because they can't move forward, but because they've gotten comfortable in victimhood. They complain about their job but never update their CV. They complain about being broke but spend hours on social media instead of learning new skills.
Real Example from Abuja
There's this guy in my Abuja circle—let's call him Emeka. Since 2020, Emeka has been complaining about his N80,000 monthly salary. Every hangout, same story: "This salary no dey enough, I wan change job."
Meanwhile, three other people from that same circle have taken online courses, learned digital skills, and are now earning dollars from freelancing. When we tell Emeka about these opportunities, his response is always: "That one na scam" or "I no get time for all those online things."
If we talk am well, Emeka doesn't want solutions. He wants sympathy. And sympathy doesn't pay bills.
Here's what nobody tells you: Complainers are contagious. Spend enough time with someone who sees problems in every solution, and you'll start doing the same. In a country where opportunities exist but require hustle and faith, you need friends who see possibilities, not just problems.
💀 3. The Dream Killer
This is perhaps the most dangerous type of friend, and many Nigerians don't recognize them until it's too late. The dream killer doesn't openly hate you. They might even claim to love you. But every time you share a vision, an idea, or a goal, they're the first to explain why it won't work.
You want to start a business? "Business no dey work for Nigeria o." You want to learn a new skill? "You're too old for that." You want to relocate abroad? "Make you hear, those people abroad dey suffer pass us." Every ambition meets a wall of discouragement disguised as "concern" or "realism."
Personal Story: The Day I Almost Gave Up
In 2016, when I told people I wanted to start blogging and make money online, I was laughed at. I had friends—educated, smart people—who told me blogging was dead, that nobody makes money from websites in Nigeria, that I should focus on getting a "real job."
If I had listened to them, Daily Reality NG wouldn't exist. The 4,000+ people I've helped wouldn't have started their online journeys. The 800,000+ monthly readers wouldn't have access to this information. Dream killers don't just block your path—they block the paths of everyone you're meant to help.
Why Dream Killers Are Dangerous:
- They project their fears and limitations onto you
- They're often unsuccessful themselves and don't want you to succeed
- They disguise discouragement as "looking out for you"
- They remind you of every failure but never your potential
- They celebrate when your plans don't work out ("I told you")
The truth is, successful people don't discourage other people's dreams. If someone is constantly trying to talk you out of your vision, they're revealing their own limitations, not yours.
🥊 4. The Toxic Competitor
Healthy competition can be motivating. But toxic competition is destructive. The toxic competitor is not your friend—they're your opponent in disguise. They're only happy when they're ahead of you, and they secretly celebrate your setbacks.
Many Nigerians know this struggle. You buy a car, they buy a bigger one. You get a job, they quickly announce they got a "better" one (even if it's a lie). You post about your business, they immediately post about theirs to overshadow you. Everything is a race, and they must win.
Real Talk from Port Harcourt
A lady I know—let's call her Ada—had a best friend from university. They moved to Port Harcourt together after graduation. Ada started a small catering business that was doing well. Instead of supporting her, this "friend" started the same business, copied her menu, contacted Ada's customers, and tried to undercut her prices.
When Ada confronted her, the response was: "Business is business. If your customers leave you, it means you're not good enough." That's not friendship. That's sabotage with a smile.
Signs of a Toxic Competitor:
- They fish for information about your life but hide theirs
- They copy your moves but claim they thought of it first
- They downplay your achievements ("It's not that serious")
- They celebrate publicly but criticize privately
- They introduce you to opportunities only after they've secured theirs
- They compare everything—salary, cars, relationships, houses
Here's what nobody tells you: Real friends compete WITH you, not AGAINST you. They want you to win, even if you win first. If someone can't be genuinely happy for your success without trying to one-up you, they're not your friend.
🤲 5. The User/Taker
This is Tunde's friends from my opening story. The user only remembers you when they need something. They show up when you're useful and disappear when you're not.
The relationship is 90% them asking and 10% you receiving. They need a loan (that they'll never pay back). They need a connection. They need a place to crash. They need a ride. They need, need, need—and you're the ATM that never runs out.
The WhatsApp Test
Want to know if someone is a user? Check your WhatsApp chat with them. If every conversation starts with "Boss," "My guy," or "Abeg," followed by a request, you have your answer. If they disappear after you help them and only resurface when they need something again, you have your answer.
I learned this the hard way. I had a friend who would call me every month: "Bro, I'm in a serious situation." For two years, I was helping him out. Then one day, I had my own crisis and reached out. His response? "Guy, I dey tight too o. Make I get back to you." He never got back. That was six years ago.
Let me be honest with you—givers need to set boundaries. In Nigerian culture, we're taught that a friend in need is a friend indeed. But what about when that friend is ALWAYS in need? What about when they're not willing to help themselves? What about when they treat your kindness as an obligation rather than a gift?
How to Identify Users:
- They only call when they need something
- They never ask how you're doing (genuinely)
- They promise to pay back but never do
- They disappear when you need help
- They take credit for opportunities you gave them
- They're always in crisis mode but never changing their situation
👄 6. The Gossip and Drama Spreader
If they gossip TO you, they definitely gossip ABOUT you. The gossip spreader is everywhere in Nigerian circles—from office environments to church groups to neighborhood associations. They thrive on drama, and they're always carrying "gist."
The truth is, these people are dangerous because they break trust systematically. What you tell them in confidence becomes entertainment for others. They twist stories, add spice where there's none, and create conflicts where there were none.
Real Example: The Office Drama
A friend who works in a company on the Island told me this story. There was a lady in their office who was everyone's "friend." She'd have lunch with Person A, listen to them complain about Person B. Then she'd have lunch with Person B, and suddenly Person B knows everything Person A said—with added fabrications.
This woman created so much division in that office that people who used to be close stopped talking. And she enjoyed every minute of it because drama gave her relevance. She wasn't valuable for her skills or contributions—she was the office gossip columnist.
Why Gossips Are Toxic:
- You can never trust them with sensitive information
- They create unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings
- They damage your reputation behind your back
- They thrive on other people's pain and mistakes
- They're often insecure and make themselves feel better by discussing others' problems
Many Nigerians know this struggle—especially in close-knit communities where everyone knows everyone. If we talk am well, the moment you start distancing yourself from gossips, your life becomes more peaceful. You waste less time on "he said, she said" and more time on actual progress.
🎭 7. The Emotional Manipulator
This is the most subtle and perhaps most damaging type of toxic friend. The emotional manipulator makes you feel guilty for having boundaries, for succeeding, for saying no, or for prioritizing yourself. They weaponize friendship.
"After all I've done for you, this is how you treat me?" "You've changed since you got that job." "You don't have time for your real friends anymore." "I was there for you when nobody else was." These phrases are their tools of manipulation.
Personal Reflection
I used to think loyalty meant never disappointing anyone. I'd cancel important meetings to attend someone's "emergency" that wasn't really urgent. I'd lend money I couldn't spare because someone made me feel guilty for having savings while they were broke.
I used to think... until I realized I was being manipulated. Real friends respect your boundaries. They don't make you feel guilty for growth, for prioritizing your family, or for saying no when you genuinely can't help. Real friends understand that "no" is a complete sentence.
Manipulation Tactics to Watch For:
- Guilt-tripping you for your success ("You don blow finish, you don forget us")
- Using past favors as leverage ("Remember when I helped you?")
- Playing victim when confronted about their behavior
- Giving silent treatment until you apologize (even when you're not wrong)
- Making you responsible for their emotional well-being
- Threatening to end the friendship when you set boundaries
Here's what nobody tells you: Healthy relationships don't require constant guilt and obligation. If you feel like you're walking on eggshells around someone, that's not friendship—that's manipulation.
⏰ 8. The Time Waster
Time is the one resource you can never get back, yet many Nigerians don't value it properly. The time waster doesn't respect your time because they don't respect their own. They show up late for everything, they cancel plans at the last minute, and they expect you to drop everything for them but are never available when you need them.
In Lagos traffic alone, time is precious. If someone asks you to meet them in Victoria Island at 3 PM and you leave Ikorodu to make it on time, only for them to show up at 5:30 PM with no apology or good reason—that's disrespect dressed as casualness.
Real Story: The 3-Hour Wait
My friend Sarah used to have this friend who would invite her places and never show up on time. One Saturday, this friend said, "Let's meet at The Palms by 2 PM." Sarah drove all the way from Ajah, spending money on fuel, enduring Lagos traffic, only to wait for THREE HOURS.
When the friend finally arrived at 5 PM, no apology. Just "Sorry now, you know Lagos traffic." Meanwhile, Sarah had missed a business opportunity that day because she was waiting. After it happened the fourth time, Sarah realized her time was worth more than this friendship.
But time wasters don't just waste your schedule—they waste your potential. They're the friends who call you for "just 5 minutes" and keep you on the phone for 2 hours talking about nothing important. They're the ones who invite you to events that add no value to your life. They're the ones who involve you in drama and situations that drain your productive hours.
Signs of a Time Waster:
- Chronic lateness without genuine reasons or remorse
- They expect you to be available 24/7 but are never there for you
- Long, pointless conversations that go nowhere
- They involve you in their chaos and poor planning
- They don't respect your work hours or personal time
- They make commitments they don't keep
The truth is, successful people protect their time fiercely. If you want to blow in 2026, you need to surround yourself with people who understand that time is money, time is opportunity, and time is life itself.
😈 9. The Bad Influence
Let me be honest—peer pressure doesn't end in secondary school. The bad influence is that friend who constantly pulls you toward decisions you know are wrong. They normalize bad behavior, encourage reckless spending, promote toxic habits, and make destructive choices look cool or necessary.
Many Nigerians know this struggle. It's the friend who convinces you to spend your last N50,000 on clubbing when you have rent due. It's the one who introduces you to get-rich-quick schemes that sound too good to be true (because they are). It's the person who mocks you for being "too serious" because you're working on your business instead of partying every weekend.
Real Talk: The Expensive Lifestyle Group
I know a young guy—brilliant, hardworking, earning about N300,000 monthly. But he had friends who were into "big boy" lifestyle. Designer clothes, expensive restaurants, VIP sections at clubs. These guys were either into yahoo yahoo or had rich parents, but this guy was funding his lifestyle from his legitimate salary.
To keep up with his friends, he was spending N250,000 monthly on appearances. No savings, no investments, just vibes and Instagram content. At 28 years old, he has nothing to show for five years of work except designer clothes and club videos. If we talk am well, those friends didn't help him—they helped him waste his potential.
Types of Bad Influence:
- Financial bad influence (encouraging reckless spending, debt, gambling)
- Career bad influence (discouraging your ambition, promoting laziness)
- Moral bad influence (normalizing dishonesty, shortcuts, unethical behavior)
- Health bad influence (excessive drinking, substance abuse, unhealthy lifestyle)
- Relationship bad influence (encouraging infidelity, toxic behavior, disrespect)
Want to know the truth? Show me your friends' spending habits, work ethic, and values, and I'll predict yours in two years. You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If those five people are bad influences, your average will be below where you need to be to succeed.
🎭 10. The Fake Supporter
This is the hardest one to detect because fake supporters look like real friends on the surface. They're at your events, they comment on your posts, they say all the right things publicly. But privately? They're your biggest critics. They're hoping you fail while pretending to hope you succeed.
The fake supporter will hype your business idea to your face, then tell others it won't work. They'll celebrate your promotion publicly, then complain privately about how you "don't deserve it." They'll share your posts with laughing emojis in their group chats while commenting "Congratulations!" on your page.
How I Discovered My Fake Supporters
When I started Daily Reality NG, I had people who would always encourage me publicly. "This is great!" "Keep going!" "We're proud of you!" But through mutual friends, I discovered some of these same people were saying things like: "He's wasting his time," "Blogging is dead," "Let's see how long this will last."
The interesting thing? Some of those fake supporters are now trying to start their own blogs, copying my strategies, and pretending they always believed in online business. Fake supporters reveal themselves eventually—usually when you succeed despite their hidden doubts.
How to Spot Fake Supporters:
- Their support is loud in public but silent in private conversations
- They never refer opportunities to you even when they can
- They always have "constructive criticism" that sounds more like discouragement
- They're quick to point out your mistakes but slow to acknowledge your wins
- They celebrate others in your industry but barely acknowledge your similar achievements
- You hear about their criticism through other people, never directly
Here's what nobody tells you: Not everyone clapping for you wants you to win. Some people are just watching closely to see you fall so they can say, "I knew it." Real supporters support you even when you're not looking. Fake supporters perform support for an audience.
🎯 Key Takeaways
- Your circle directly impacts your success—toxic friends can block your progress more than lack of opportunity
- Not everyone who started the journey with you is meant to finish it with you—seasons change, and so should your relationships
- Energy vampires, dream killers, and toxic competitors will drain your potential if you don't create boundaries
- Users and manipulators take advantage of your kindness—learn to say no without guilt
- Time wasters and bad influences cost you opportunities—protect your time and energy fiercely
- Fake supporters are more dangerous than open haters—they sabotage you while smiling in your face
- Cutting off toxic friends isn't wickedness, it's wisdom—you can't pour from an empty cup
- Quality over quantity—five solid supporters are worth more than fifty fake friends
🔪 How to Cut Off Toxic Friends (Without Drama)
Now, I know what you're thinking: "This all sounds good, but how do I actually remove these people from my life without causing chaos?" Let me share practical strategies that work in the Nigerian context.
1. The Gradual Fade (Most Effective)
You don't need to make an announcement. Just slowly reduce your availability. Take longer to reply to messages. Decline invitations politely. Stop initiating contact. Most toxic friends will eventually move on to their next victim when they realize you're no longer easy access.
✓ Practical Steps:
- Stop being the one who always reaches out first
- Reduce the frequency and length of your responses
- Use phrases like "I'm busy with a project" or "I'm focusing on family right now"
- Don't explain too much—short answers work better
- Be consistent—don't go back and forth between close and distant
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Some relationships don't need to end completely—they just need better boundaries. If someone is a time waster, stop accommodating their lateness. If someone is a user, stop saying yes to every request. Boundaries teach people how to treat you.
Example Boundary Phrases:
- "I can't lend money anymore—I'm following a strict budget now"
- "I have only 30 minutes to talk—what's the most important thing?"
- "I don't discuss other people's business anymore"
- "I'm not available for last-minute plans—let's schedule in advance"
- "I need to focus on my goals right now—I'll catch up with you later"
3. The Honest Conversation (For Closer Relationships)
If this is someone you've been close to for a long time, you might owe them honesty. Have a respectful conversation about how the friendship has become unhealthy. Give specific examples, not vague accusations. Some people genuinely don't realize their impact.
Many Nigerians avoid confrontation, but sometimes it's necessary. Just remember: you're not responsible for how they react to your truth. You're only responsible for speaking it with respect.
4. The Clean Break (For Severe Cases)
Some friendships are so toxic that gradual fading won't work—you need a clean break. This applies to people who are manipulative, abusive, or actively sabotaging your life. Block their number, delete them from social media, and move on. You don't owe anyone access to you if they're using that access to harm you.
Important Note:
A clean break might trigger gossip, especially in close-knit Nigerian communities. Prepare for this. Don't defend yourself to everyone—those who matter will understand, and those who don't weren't really your friends anyway. Focus on your peace, not people's opinions.
5. Fill the Gap with Better People
Nature abhors a vacuum. As you remove toxic friends, intentionally cultivate relationships with people who inspire you, challenge you positively, and support your growth. Join communities aligned with your goals—business networks, skill development groups, mentorship programs.
The truth is, you won't miss toxic friends when you're surrounded by people who genuinely want you to win. Quality friendships feel lighter, not heavier. They give energy, not drain it.
❓ Frequently Asked Questions
What if my toxic friend is a family member?
Family dynamics are trickier, especially in Nigerian culture where family ties are sacred. You might not be able to completely cut them off, but you can definitely limit your exposure. Set firm boundaries, don't share sensitive information with them, and remember that blood relation doesn't give anyone the right to drain you. You can love family members from a distance while protecting your peace.
How do I deal with guilt after cutting off a long-time friend?
Guilt is normal, especially if you're a kind person. But remember this: you're not responsible for other adults. If someone's friendship came with a high cost to your mental health, finances, or future, removing them wasn't wickedness—it was self-preservation. The guilt will fade as you start seeing the positive changes in your life. Give yourself permission to prioritize your wellbeing without feeling bad about it.
What if I cut people off and end up lonely?
Temporary loneliness is better than permanent toxicity. Many successful Nigerians will tell you they had a season where their circle got very small before it got better. Use that alone time to work on yourself, build your skills, and attract better people through your growth. Quality friendships come when you become the type of person quality people want to be around.
Can toxic friends change?
People can change, but only if they want to and are actively working on themselves. You're not obligated to wait around hoping someone will change. If you want to give them a chance, set clear boundaries and watch their actions, not their words. If they respect your boundaries and show genuine change over time, you can cautiously rebuild. But if they keep crossing lines, your answer is already there.
How do I avoid attracting toxic people in the future?
Work on your boundaries and self-awareness. Toxic people target those who struggle to say no, who are people-pleasers, or who have low self-esteem. The stronger your sense of self-worth, the faster you'll spot red flags and the quicker you'll distance yourself. Also, be intentional about where you spend time—the environments you frequent determine who you meet.
Is it okay to have different friend circles for different areas of my life?
Absolutely! You can have work friends, church friends, business friends, and childhood friends—and they don't all need to overlap. In fact, it's healthy to have different circles that meet different needs. Just make sure each circle adds value to your life in some way. If any circle becomes consistently draining, apply the same principles of distance or boundaries.
📚 Related Articles You Should Read
10 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You
Recognizing red flags in romantic relationships
Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
Learn to protect your peace without guilt
Understanding Toxic Relationships
Deep dive into relationship red flags and patterns
Rebuilding Self-Confidence After Setbacks
How to bounce back stronger than before
About Samson Ese
Founder, Daily Reality NG | Since 2016, I've been helping Nigerians navigate life's realities—from making money online to building better relationships. My mission is simple: provide honest, practical advice that actually works in the Nigerian context. Connect with me on our social platforms for more real talk.
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All posts are independently written and fact-checked by Samson Ese based on real experience and verified sources.
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