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The Season I Felt Forgotten, Yet Found My Real Purpose
A Journey of Pain, Growth, and Discovery
Welcome to Daily Reality NG, where we break down real-life issues with honesty and clarity. Today, I'm sharing something deeply personal — the season when I felt completely forgotten by everyone around me, yet somehow stumbled into the clearest sense of purpose I've ever known. This isn't a motivational fairy tale. It's raw, honest, and real.
I'm Samson Ese, founder of Daily Reality NG. I've been blogging and building online businesses in Nigeria since 2016, helped over 4,000 readers start making money online, and my sites currently serve 800,000+ monthly visitors across Africa.
It was a Thursday evening in Lagos, somewhere between March and April 2022. I remember it clearly because that was the night I sat alone in my room, scrolling through my phone, watching everyone else's life move forward while mine felt completely frozen in place.
My friends were getting engaged, landing international jobs, buying cars, posting vacation photos from Dubai and London. Meanwhile, I was struggling to afford data to even see their posts. The irony wasn't lost on me.
What hurt most wasn't the financial struggle — many Nigerians face that daily. What broke me was the silence. The calls that stopped coming. The group chats I got removed from. The invitations that dried up. The "we should link up" promises that never materialized.
I had become invisible. Forgotten. Irrelevant.
But here's what nobody tells you about that kind of season: sometimes, being forgotten by everyone else is exactly what you need to finally remember who you really are.
The Beginning: How I Became Invisible
Let me be honest with you — I wasn't always the "forgotten" guy. There was a time when my phone never stopped buzzing. WhatsApp messages, Instagram DMs, calls from friends wanting to hang out, invitations to parties and owambe ceremonies every weekend.
Then life happened.
I lost my job at a marketing firm in Victoria Island. Not because I was incompetent, but because the company downsized. That's Nigerian corporate life for you — one day you're essential, the next day your role has been "restructured."
With no salary coming in, my lifestyle changed overnight. No more splitting bills at Ocean Basket. No more contributing to the "boys' weekend" fund. No more showing up at every hangout spot in Lekki.
Real Talk
Here's what I learned fast: in Lagos especially, your value to some people is directly tied to what you can contribute financially or socially. The moment you can't "show face" or "drop something," you become background noise.
The calls started reducing. The group chats got quieter when I was online. Plans were made without me. Birthday parties happened that I only heard about through Instagram stories.
At first, I told myself people were just busy. But after three months of being the one always initiating contact and getting one-word replies, the truth hit me: I had been quietly removed from people's priority lists.
I was still breathing, still existing, but socially? I was a ghost.
The Pain: What Being Forgotten Actually Feels Like
If you've never experienced this kind of isolation, let me paint you a picture.
You wake up every morning and check your phone, hoping for a message, a call, anything that proves you still matter to someone. Most days, nothing. Just notifications from banks reminding you your account balance is low and mobile network providers trying to sell you data.
You open Instagram and see your old friends at a beach in Lekki, laughing, tagging each other, creating memories. Nobody thought to invite you. Not because they hate you, but because you simply didn't cross their mind.
You attend family gatherings and hear relatives ask, "How is work?" and you smile and say "fine" because explaining that you've been jobless for months would turn you into a pity project or gossip material.
The Silent Struggle Many Nigerians Face
According to mental health experts, social isolation is one of the leading causes of depression among young Nigerians, especially in cities like Lagos where social status and financial capacity often determine social belonging. Many suffer in silence because admitting loneliness feels like admitting failure.
The pain isn't just about missing out. It's about questioning your worth. You start thinking: "Was I only valuable when I had money? When I could contribute? When I was in a good place?"
You replay old conversations, trying to figure out what you did wrong. You scroll through old photos from better times and wonder when exactly everything changed.
The truth is, nothing really changed. You just stopped being useful, and in a transactional world, usefulness equals relevance.
That realization hurt more than anything else.
The Shift: When Loneliness Turned Into Clarity
I can't tell you the exact day it happened. But somewhere around the fifth month of my "forgotten season," something inside me shifted.
I stopped waiting for my phone to ring. I stopped checking Instagram every hour. I stopped hoping someone would remember I existed.
Instead, I started spending time with myself. Real time. Not scrolling-through-Twitter time or binge-watching-Netflix time. Actual quality time where I asked myself hard questions:
- Who am I when nobody's watching?
- What do I actually want from life?
- What matters to me beyond social validation?
- If I had to rebuild my life from scratch, what would it look like?
The Breakthrough Moment
One evening, I was sitting on my bed, frustrated about another job application rejection, when I randomly opened an old journal I used to write in. I found an entry from 2018 where I wrote: "I want to help people navigate real-life issues without all the motivational fluff."
Four years later, that sentence hit differently. That was my purpose, written down years ago, buried under the noise of trying to fit into everyone else's definition of success.
I realized something profound: all those years I was "relevant," I was too busy performing for other people to actually discover what I was meant to do.
The forgotten season wasn't punishment. It was preparation.
When you have no audience, you stop performing. When nobody's watching, you finally have the freedom to be yourself. To explore. To fail. To experiment without judgment.
That's when I started building Daily Reality NG. Not because I thought it would blow up. Not because I wanted social media validation. But because for the first time in years, I was doing something that aligned with who I actually was, not who people expected me to be.
The Discovery: Finding Purpose in the Quiet
Purpose isn't this loud, dramatic revelation where angels sing and everything suddenly makes sense. At least, that wasn't my experience.
My purpose revealed itself quietly, in small moments of clarity during the season everyone forgot about me.
It showed up when I wrote a Facebook post about navigating job loss and twenty strangers messaged me saying, "I needed this today."
It showed up when I started documenting my freelancing journey online and people started asking me questions, genuinely interested in learning.
It showed up when I realized I didn't need a crowd to make an impact — I just needed to be honest, helpful, and consistent.
Real Example From My Journey
I remember publishing my first article about making money online in Nigeria. It got 47 views. No comments. No shares. Most people would've given up.
But those 47 views represented 47 real people who spent time reading something I created. That mattered more than a thousand likes from people who didn't actually care.
Purpose, I learned, isn't about being chosen by everyone. It's about choosing yourself and then serving others from that authentic place.
When I stopped trying to be relevant to my old social circle and started focusing on being valuable to people I could actually help, everything changed.
The forgotten season taught me that real purpose doesn't need applause. It needs commitment. Consistency. Courage to keep going when nobody's cheering you on.
And honestly? Once you discover what you're truly meant to do, the absence of noise becomes a gift. You work better. Think clearer. Create authentically.
The Lessons: What This Season Taught Me
1. Not Everyone Is Supposed to Stay
Some people are seasonal. They're in your life for a specific chapter, and when that chapter ends, so does the relationship. That's not betrayal. That's life. Accepting this truth freed me from bitterness and resentment.
2. Your Value Isn't Determined by Social Validation
I used to measure my worth by how many people wanted to be around me. Big mistake. Your value exists whether or not anyone recognizes it. The sooner you internalize this, the freer you become.
3. Loneliness and Solitude Are Different
Loneliness is feeling unwanted. Solitude is choosing yourself. The forgotten season started as loneliness but evolved into powerful solitude where I discovered strengths I didn't know I had.
Nigerian Context
In our culture, there's pressure to always be social, always connected, always part of "the gang." But some of the most successful Nigerians I've studied — from writers to entrepreneurs — attribute their breakthroughs to periods of intentional isolation where they focused deeply on their craft. Check out this guide on finding motivation within yourself for more insights.
4. Purpose Isn't Always Loud
We're taught to chase big, impressive callings. But real purpose is often quiet and simple. Mine is just helping everyday Nigerians navigate life better. Nothing fancy. But it's mine, and it's real.
5. The Right People Will Find You
When I stopped chasing old friendships and started living in alignment with my purpose, new people showed up. Better people. People who valued what I was building, not what I could contribute to their social image.
6. Growth Happens in the Uncomfortable Spaces
Nobody grows during the good times. We grow when things fall apart, when we're forced to rebuild, when we have no choice but to figure it out. That forgotten season was my MBA in resilience.
Want to understand more about building resilience through life's challenges? I wrote extensively about this.
Practical Steps: If You're in That Season Now
Maybe you're reading this and thinking, "This is literally me right now." If so, I see you. I've been there. Here's what actually helped me — no fluff, just real, actionable steps:
Step 1: Stop Waiting for Validation
Delete the idea that your life only matters when someone acknowledges it. Start a journal. Write down your thoughts, goals, frustrations. Make yourself your own witness.
Step 2: Use the Quiet to Explore
This is your chance to try things without pressure. Want to learn graphic design? Start. Want to write? Write. Want to code? Learn. Nobody's watching, which means nobody can judge your messy beginnings.
Practical Nigerian Example
When I was forgotten, I used free YouTube tutorials to learn content writing, basic SEO, and blogging. Zero investment except time and data. Six months later, those skills became my income source. Here's my guide on how Nigerian students can start making money online with similar free resources.
Step 3: Redefine Success on Your Own Terms
Stop comparing your chapter three to someone else's chapter twenty. Define what success looks like for YOU. For me, it was helping one person per week. Small, achievable, meaningful.
Step 4: Build Something, Anything
Create something tangible. A blog. A small business. A skill. A portfolio. Something that exists outside of your social circle. This gives you purpose independent of other people's presence.
Step 5: Make Peace with the Process
This season won't last forever. But while it's here, extract every lesson. The pain, the silence, the self-doubt — it's all molding you into someone stronger. Trust that.
Step 6: Seek Professional Support If Needed
If the loneliness becomes overwhelming depression, talk to someone. Mental health is real. Mental health in Nigeria is still stigmatized, but your wellbeing matters more than shame.
Step 7: Document Your Journey
Whether privately or publicly, document what you're learning. This serves two purposes: it helps you process, and it becomes proof of your growth when you look back later.
The Truth Nobody Tells You About Purpose
Here's what I wish someone had told me earlier: your purpose doesn't announce itself with fireworks and a dramatic soundtrack. It whispers. And usually, it whispers loudest when you're alone.
Purpose isn't about finding some grand, earth-shattering mission that makes you famous or rich (though those can be byproducts). Purpose is about finding what makes you come alive, what you'd do even if nobody ever applauded, what genuinely helps others while keeping you fulfilled.
For me, it was writing honest content for everyday Nigerians trying to figure out life, money, relationships, and growth. Nothing fancy. But it's mine.
The Dangerous Trap
Many Nigerians confuse purpose with profession. Your job can align with your purpose, but they're not the same thing. Your purpose is deeper — it's what you'd do even for free because it fulfills something in you.
Another truth: purpose evolves. What felt like your calling at 22 might shift by 28. That's okay. Growth means your purpose expands as you do. Don't cage yourself in one static identity.
The forgotten season forced me to strip away all the external noise and get real about what mattered to me. Without that stripping away process, I'd probably still be chasing validation instead of building value.
Purpose requires courage. Courage to stand alone when everyone's moved on. Courage to build when nobody believes in you yet. Courage to stay consistent when results are slow.
But once you tap into it? Nothing compares. Not parties. Not social validation. Not temporary friendships. Real purpose is the most fulfilling thing you'll ever experience.
Moving Forward: Life After Being Forgotten
So where am I now, three years after that painful season?
Honestly? In a completely different reality.
Daily Reality NG grew from 47 views on that first article to reaching over 800,000 monthly visitors across Africa. I've helped thousands of Nigerians start online businesses, navigate financial challenges, and find clarity in their own journeys.
But here's the plot twist: most of the people who forgot me during my dark season have no idea this exists. And that's perfectly fine.
I'm not building this for their validation. I'm building it because it aligns with my purpose. The forgotten season taught me that external approval is a terrible foundation. Internal alignment is everything.
Real Numbers
Since launching Daily Reality NG properly in 2023, I've published over 200 articles, helped 4,000+ readers start making money online, and built a community of Nigerians who value real talk over motivational fluff. None of this would exist if that painful season hadn't pushed me to discover what truly mattered.
Some of those old friends have reconnected. When they see what I'm building, they say things like "I always knew you'd make it" or "I always believed in you." I smile and thank them, but I don't correct them. No need to.
The real ones — the people who mattered — never left. My family stayed. A handful of genuine friends checked in even when I had nothing to offer. Those relationships deepened during my forgotten season and remain my strongest today.
As for new relationships? They're different now. Built on authenticity rather than transactions. People connect with my work, my honesty, my journey — not my social status or bank account.
I wake up every day with clarity about what I'm building and why. That's worth more than any validation I chased in my twenties.
A Word on Forgiveness
I don't harbor resentment toward people who disappeared. Most of them didn't intentionally hurt me — they were just living their own lives, facing their own challenges. Forgiveness freed me to move forward without bitterness weighing me down. Read more about finding real peace after painful seasons.
If I could go back and skip that forgotten season, would I? Absolutely not. It shaped me. It refined me. It forced me to become the person I needed to be to build what I'm building now.
Sometimes God (or life, or the universe — whatever you believe) removes people not to punish you, but to position you. That quiet, lonely season was positioning. And everything that came after proved it was worth it.
🎯 Key Takeaways
- Being forgotten isn't the end — it's often the beginning of discovering who you truly are without the noise of external validation
- Purpose reveals itself in solitude — when you stop performing for others, you finally have space to discover what genuinely matters to you
- Not everyone is meant to stay — seasonal relationships aren't betrayals; they're natural life progressions that create space for the right people
- Your value isn't tied to visibility — you matter whether or not anyone is paying attention; internalize this and you become unstoppable
- Loneliness can become powerful solitude — redirect the pain of isolation into focused self-development and purpose discovery
- Real growth happens in uncomfortable seasons — the forgotten season strips away pretense and forces authentic transformation
- Purpose doesn't need applause — it needs commitment, consistency, and courage to keep building when nobody's watching
- Document your journey — writing through the pain helps you process and provides proof of growth when you look back
- The right people will find you — when you live authentically, relationships built on genuine connection naturally emerge
- Forgiveness frees you — releasing bitterness toward those who left creates space for peace and forward momentum
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How do I know if I'm in a forgotten season or just overthinking?
You're in a genuine forgotten season when multiple relationships consistently show disengagement over several months — unanswered messages, no invitations, one-sided effort. Overthinking is when you misinterpret occasional busyness as rejection. Track patterns over 3-6 months to know the difference. Also, if this concern affects your daily functioning, consider speaking with a mental health professional.
Is it normal to feel forgotten even when you have friends and family?
Absolutely. You can be surrounded by people and still feel unseen or misunderstood. This often happens during life transitions when your values shift but your social circle remains the same. It is also a sign you might be growing beyond certain relationships. The key is distinguishing between temporary disconnection and chronic emotional isolation that requires professional support.
How long does the forgotten season typically last?
There is no fixed timeline. Mine lasted about 8 months before the shift happened. For some, it is shorter; for others, longer. The duration matters less than what you do with the time. Use it for self-discovery, skill-building, and purpose exploration rather than waiting for it to end. The season concludes when you stop needing external validation to feel complete.
What if I discover my purpose but still feel lonely?
Purpose and loneliness aren't mutually exclusive. You can be clear on your calling and still desire meaningful connection — that is human. The difference is that purpose gives you something fulfilling to focus on while you build new authentic relationships. Join communities aligned with your purpose, engage online spaces in your field, and be patient. Deep connections take time to develop.
Should I reach out to people who forgot me once I'm doing better?
That depends on your motivation. If you are reaching out to prove something or seek validation, do not. If you genuinely want to reconnect without expectations or resentment, go ahead. Just be prepared for various responses. Some will be supportive, others indifferent. Your worth is not determined by their reaction. Focus on relationships that feel mutual and authentic moving forward.
How do I explain this season to family who don't understand?
Nigerian families often equate isolation with depression or failure. Frame it positively: I am taking time to figure out my next steps, develop new skills, or focus on personal projects. Show them tangible progress — a new skill certificate, a side project, articles you have written. When they see you are productive and purposeful, concern usually shifts to support. If needed, direct them to resources on understanding mental health and personal development.
✓
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