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November 29, 2025
✍️
By Samson Ese
⏱️
12 min read
Personal Growth
10 Types of Friends You Must Delete From Your Life Before 2026 If You Want to Blow
Welcome to Daily Reality NG, where we break down real-life issues with honesty and clarity. Today, we're talking about something many Nigerians struggle with but few address openly: toxic friendships that hold you back from success.
I'm Samson Ese, founder of Daily Reality NG. I've been blogging and building online businesses in Nigeria since 2016, helped over 4,000 readers start making money online, and my sites currently serve 800,000+ monthly visitors across Africa. Over these years, I've learned the hard way that your circle determines your success. Let me share what I've discovered.
Let me be honest with you. In 2018, I was struggling to grow my blog. I was working 14-hour days, learning SEO, writing content, trying everything. But there was this friend — let's call him Tunde. Every time I shared my progress, Tunde would say things like "Blogging no dey pay for Naija," "You're wasting your time," "Who go read your blog sef?"
The truth is, I believed him for almost a year. His negativity made me doubt myself. I slowed down. I stopped posting consistently. My growth stalled completely.
Then one day, I saw Tunde posting on Instagram about how "nobody wants to see him succeed." He was the same person constantly discouraging others! That's when it hit me: some people don't want you to succeed because your success reminds them of their own failures.
I distanced myself from Tunde. Within six months, my blog traffic tripled. Within a year, I was making my first significant income online. The only thing that changed? The people I allowed to influence my thinking.
Many Nigerians know this struggle. We're taught to value loyalty, to "stick with your day ones," to never forget where you came from. But here's what nobody tells you: loyalty to toxic people is disloyalty to your future self.
💡 Why Your Friends Determine Your Future
Want to know the truth? The five people you spend the most time with determine your income level, your mindset, your habits, and ultimately, your success. This isn't motivational talk — it's statistical reality.
In Lagos, you see it clearly. The guy wey dey hustle with positive people dey blow. The one wey dey follow excuse makers dey stagnate. Same Lagos, same opportunities, different circles.
Here's what nobody tells you about toxic friends: they don't announce themselves. They don't wear a badge saying "I'm here to destroy your progress." They come as "day ones," "childhood friends," "loyal soldiers." But their impact on your life is devastating.
🎯 Real Talk: My Personal Experience
Between 2016 and 2019, I cut off seven friends. It was painful. Some I'd known since secondary school. Some were family friends. But they all had one thing in common: they made me doubt my vision, question my decisions, and feel guilty for wanting more. Letting them go was the best decision I ever made for my future.
🚫 The 10 Friend Types to Delete
1
The Dream Killer
What they do: Every time you share a vision, they remind you of why it won't work. "This is Nigeria, things don't work like that." "You? Do business? With which capital?" "Stop dreaming and face reality."
Real Nigerian example: You tell them you want to start an online business. Instead of support, they say "Online business na scam," "Who go buy from you?" "Better go find government work."
Why they're toxic: They project their own fears and limitations onto you. Their negativity becomes your reality if you're not careful. Many successful Nigerians had to ignore these voices to break through.
What to do: Stop sharing your plans with them. When they ask about your business, give vague answers. Protect your vision from their negativity.
2
The Energy Vampire
What they do: Every conversation with them drains you. They only call when they have problems. Every discussion ends with you feeling exhausted, stressed, or worried.
Real Nigerian example: They call at 11pm to complain about their boyfriend, their boss, their family, their finances. You spend two hours counseling them. Next day, same thing. They never take advice, never improve, just drain your energy repeatedly.
Why they're toxic: You can't pour from an empty cup. While you're managing their emotional baggage, who's managing yours? These friends take all your emotional energy and give nothing back.
Lagos traffic analogy: It's like being stuck in Third Mainland Bridge traffic daily. You're not moving forward, just burning fuel (your energy) for nothing.
What to do: Set boundaries. Limit call times. Don't be available for every crisis. Your emotional energy is valuable — protect it.
3
The Fake Celebrator
What they do: They congratulate you on Instagram but secretly feel pained by your success. They screenshot your wins to gossip in other group chats. Their "I'm happy for you" comes with a fake smile.
Real Nigerian example: You buy a car. They post "Congrats my guy!" on your status. But in their mind, they're thinking "How did he afford this? Is it Yahoo? Why him and not me?" Next thing, they're spreading rumors about your source of income.
Why they're toxic: Jealousy is a slow poison. They can't genuinely celebrate you, so they'll subtly undermine you. Their fake love can turn to real hate when your success continues.
What to do: Watch their actions, not their words. Real supporters don't need to announce it loudly — they show up consistently. Fake ones only comment on Instagram.
⚠️ Warning Sign: The "I'm Not Hating But..." Friend
If we talk am well, anytime someone starts with "I'm not hating but..." — they're hating. "I'm happy for you but..." — they're not happy. In Nigeria, people hide jealousy behind concern. Be wise.
4
The Money Beggar (AKA Professional Borrower)
What they do: Always broke, always borrowing, never paying back. "Bro abeg, just ₦5,000. I'll pay back on Friday" — Friday comes, silence. Next week, another request.
Real Nigerian example: They borrow ₦20,000 in January "for emergency." By December, they've borrowed ₦150,000 total, paid back ₦0, and they're upset when you say no to the next request because "I thought we were friends."
Why they're toxic: They see you as a bank, not a friend. The relationship is transactional — you give, they take. When you stop giving, the friendship ends. That shows what it really was.
What to do: Learn to say no without guilt. "Bro, I can't help right now" is a complete sentence. Real friends respect boundaries. Users guilt-trip you.
5
The Gossip Master
What they do: They bring you gist about everyone. They tell you what Emeka said about you, what Chioma thinks of your business, what happened between Tunde and his girlfriend. Entertainment, right? Wrong.
Real Nigerian example: They call you to report that your mutual friend said you're "forming rich" now that your business is doing well. They swear they're just "looking out for you." Next week, they're reporting you to someone else.
Why they're toxic: Here's the truth: if they gossip TO you, they gossip ABOUT you. The person who brings you tales will carry your tales to others. In Abuja, Port Harcourt, or Lagos — gossips destroy networks.
What to do: Don't engage with gossip. When they start "I heard that...", change the topic or end the call. Protect your peace and your reputation.
6
The Competition Freak
What they do: Everything becomes a competition. You buy something, they must buy bigger. You achieve something, they must one-up you. They can't just be happy — they must be "better."
Real Nigerian example: You post your new iPhone on Instagram. Three days later, they buy a newer model just to show they can afford "better." You share you made ₦200,000 from your side hustle, they claim they made ₦500,000 (lie or truth, the point is the need to compete).
Why they're toxic: Real friends lift each other. Competition friends see your win as their loss. They can't celebrate you genuinely because they're too busy trying to outdo you.
What to do: Stop sharing your wins with them. Keep your achievements private. Let them compete with themselves.
7
The Bad Influencer
What they do: Every time you're with them, you make poor decisions. They pressure you to spend money you shouldn't spend, go places you shouldn't go, do things that don't align with your goals.
Real Nigerian example: You're trying to save money for your business. They call "Guy, make we go Club Quilox tonight." You say you're saving, they say "Ah, you dey form now? Just this once." You go, spend ₦50,000 you can't afford, wake up with regret.
Why they're toxic: You can't build wealth with a spender's mindset. You can't focus on business while chasing every owambe party. Bad influencers keep you stuck in their lifestyle when you're trying to level up.
What to do: Decline invitations guilt-free. Real friends respect your goals. Bad influencers mock your discipline because it reminds them of their lack of it.
8
The Entitled Friend
What they do: They feel you owe them because you're doing better. "Since you don buy car, you no fit drop me for road?" "Oya now, give me small money for your guy nau." They feel entitled to your success without contributing to it.
Real Nigerian example: You work 18 hours daily to build your business. They spent that time partying and relaxing. Now that your business is successful, they expect you to "carry them along," "dash them contract," "help them blow" — meanwhile they contributed zero effort when you were struggling.
Why they're toxic: Entitlement breeds resentment. When you don't meet their expectations (which you never agreed to), they turn bitter. They forget you earned your success through sacrifice they weren't willing to make.
What to do: Set clear boundaries. Your success doesn't obligate you to carry anyone. Help when you choose to, not because you're pressured.
🚨 Dangerous Mindset Alert
In Nigeria, there's this mentality of "if I chop, my guy must chop." But here's the reality: you can't help everyone. Some people want to eat your food without helping you cook. That's not friendship — that's parasitism. Protect your harvest.
9
The Crisis Creator
What they do: There's always drama around them. If they're not fighting with someone, they're involving you in their mess. Their life is a constant soap opera and you're always cast as the support character.
Real Nigerian example: They fight with their landlord, drag you into the argument as witness. They have beef with another friend, force you to pick sides. They misunderstand someone's text, blow up your phone at midnight for advice. Your life becomes about managing their chaos.
Why they're toxic: Peace is priceless. When you're constantly solving their problems, when do you focus on your goals? Drama is exhausting, and exhaustion kills productivity.
What to do: Refuse to be dragged into their drama. "I don't want to be involved" is valid. Let them handle their own crises.
10
The Jealous Monitor
What they do: They watch your every move. They screenshot your stories, analyze your posts, monitor your progress — not to support you, but to find something to criticize or feel superior about.
Real Nigerian example: You post about landing a new client. They don't congratulate you — they notice you posted at 10am and ask "Don't you have work?" You post your car, they comment "Hope it's not hire purchase?" Everything you do, they scrutinize looking for flaws.
Why they're toxic: They're obsessed with you for the wrong reasons. True friends cheer for you. Jealous monitors hope to catch you failing so they feel better about themselves.
What to do: Limit what they see. Instagram has a "restrict" feature for a reason. Or better still, remove them completely. Your progress isn't their business.
🎯 Key Takeaways
- Your circle directly impacts your income, mindset, and success trajectory
- Toxic friends don't announce themselves — they come disguised as "loyal" friends
- Dream Killers project their failures onto your vision — protect your goals from their negativity
- Energy Vampires drain your emotional resources without giving anything back
- Fake Celebrators congratulate you publicly but feel pained privately
- Money Beggars see you as an ATM, not a friend — learn to say no
- Gossip Masters bring you tales and carry your tales — avoid them completely
- Competition Freaks can't celebrate your wins because they're too busy trying to outdo you
- Bad Influencers keep you stuck in their lifestyle when you're trying to level up
- Entitled Friends expect you to share your harvest without helping you plant
- Crisis Creators turn your life into their drama show — protect your peace
- Jealous Monitors watch your every move hoping to catch you failing
- Cutting off toxic friends is painful but necessary for personal growth
- Quality matters more than quantity — five real friends beat 50 fake ones
- Before 2026, evaluate your circle and make tough decisions for your future
✂️ How to Actually Cut Them Off (Practical Steps)
Knowing you need to cut someone off is one thing. Actually doing it is another. Here's the practical guide based on what worked for me and thousands of other Nigerians who've successfully removed toxic people from their lives.
Step 1: Make the Decision Mentally First
Before you take action, you must be convinced in your mind. Write down specifically how this person has negatively affected your life. When you see it on paper, it becomes real. This list will help you stay strong when guilt tries to creep in.
Step 2: The Gradual Fade (Recommended for Most Cases)
You don't need a dramatic confrontation. Simply become less available. Take longer to reply texts. Be busy when they call. Decline invitations politely. Most people will get the message and naturally drift away.
Example responses:
- "I'm tied up with work this month, let's catch up later"
- "I'm on a tight budget, can't make it"
- "I'll get back to you" (and don't)
Step 3: Social Media Boundaries
Mute their stories, restrict their access to yours, or unfollow/unfriend completely. They don't need to see your life updates. On WhatsApp, you can hide your status from specific contacts.
Step 4: For Persistent Ones — The Direct Conversation
Some people won't take hints. For these, you need a direct but respectful conversation:
"I'm in a season where I need to focus on my goals. I need to limit distractions and be more intentional about how I spend my time and energy. I hope you understand."
You don't owe them a detailed explanation. You don't need to list their offenses. Keep it about you and your journey, not about them and their flaws.
Step 5: Deal With the Guilt
You'll feel guilty. That's normal, especially in Nigerian culture where we value loyalty heavily. But remember: loyalty to toxic people is disloyalty to your future. Read your list again when guilt hits.
Step 6: Fill the Gap With Better People
Don't just remove toxic friends — replace them. Join communities aligned with your goals. Attend networking events. Connect with people who inspire you. Nature abhors a vacuum; fill yours intentionally.
✅ What Happened After I Cut Off Toxic Friends
Within six months of distancing myself from negative influences:
- My blog traffic increased by 300 percent
- I had more time to focus on income-generating activities
- My stress levels dropped dramatically
- I met mentors who actually helped me grow
- My income increased because my mindset improved
- I stopped doubting my vision and started executing boldly
The space toxic people occupied in my life got filled with productive energy, better opportunities, and genuine support. That's what awaits you too.
❓ Frequently Asked Questions
What if the toxic friend is a family member?
Family makes it harder, but the principle remains the same — protect your peace and progress. You don't have to cut them off completely, but you can create boundaries. Limit time spent together, don't share your goals with them, and don't allow their negativity to affect your decisions. Distance doesn't mean disrespect; it means self-preservation.
How do I know if I'm the toxic friend?
Honest self-reflection: Do you genuinely celebrate others' wins? Can you be happy for someone without comparing? Do you support friends' goals or discourage them? Are you always borrowing but never helping? If you're asking this question, you probably aren't the toxic one — toxic people rarely self-reflect. But if you recognize any toxic behaviors, the good news is you can change.
Is it selfish to cut off friends who are going through hard times?
There's a difference between a friend going through a season of difficulty and a friend who is chronically toxic. Real friends support each other through tough times. But if someone has been draining your energy for years, making no effort to improve, and only calling when they need something — that's not a hard time, that's a lifestyle. You're not their therapist or their bank. Supporting doesn't mean sacrificing your own wellbeing.
What if they confront me about distancing myself?
Be honest but kind: "I'm focusing on personal growth and my goals right now. I need to be more intentional with my time and energy." You don't owe them a detailed explanation of their toxicity. Keep it brief, respectful, and firm. If they guilt-trip you, that's confirmation you made the right decision.
How long does it take to feel normal after cutting off a close friend?
From my experience and talking to others, it takes about three to six months. The first month is hardest — you'll miss them, feel guilty, question your decision. By month three, you'll start noticing the peace and progress in your life. By month six, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Give yourself grace during the adjustment period.
Can toxic friendships be fixed instead of ended?
Sometimes yes, but rarely. If the person is willing to acknowledge their behavior, work on themselves, and respect your boundaries, there's hope. But most toxic people don't see themselves as the problem — they'll blame you for "changing" or "feeling too big." Don't waste years trying to fix someone who doesn't want to change. Your energy is better invested in relationships that are already healthy.
What if we have mutual friends and I can't completely avoid them?
You can be cordial without being close. Greet them at gatherings, keep conversations brief and surface-level, but don't engage deeply. Don't share personal information or future plans. Think of them as acquaintances, not friends. Also, true mutual friends will understand your decision — if they pressure you to remain close with someone toxic, they might not be good friends either.
How do I explain this to people who ask why we're no longer close?
Simple answer: "We grew apart" or "We're in different places in life now." You don't need to expose their toxicity to everyone. Taking the high road protects your reputation and prevents drama. People who matter will understand without details. People who don't matter don't need explanations.
📚 Related Articles
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Read Article →Setting Boundaries Without Guilt
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Read Article →The Power of Saying No
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Read Article →Rebuilding Self-Confidence After Toxic Friendships
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Read Article →5 Ways to Build Unshakable Self-Confidence
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Read Article →How to Turn Rejection Into Real Motivation
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Read Article →
Written by Samson Ese
Founder of Daily Reality NG. Helping everyday Nigerians navigate life, business, and digital opportunities since 2016. I've helped over 4,000 readers start making money online, and my sites currently serve 800,000+ monthly visitors across Africa.
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